Fire & Water is a collection composed of oppositions. Fire and water are two natural forces that are born for diversity. I fed off the concept, the colors, the life, and the nature of Fire and Water. Spending time in deep meditation, surrounding myself by the two forces mentally, physically, and spiritually I was fueled and inspired to start this collection.
The collection was emotionally spurned by the ugly falling out I had with my very first love. It was a break up that was far from clean and there are still open wounds that are being mended. Ending things in March 2015, I released my premier piece (Psalm 147:18) only four months after the split. While my love for this man was intense, overwhelming, and undeniable, it was not meant to last.
During the first two months of our separation, I began to truly look into the depth of our relationship, our personalities, and our spirits. We fed off each other in an intricate, artistic way but at the same time we made each other falter, sputter, and struggle. Even though I loved him dearly, and will always have a special place for this man in my heart, I learned one crucial lesson: Sometimes love isn’t enough.
I am a force of flame, a fire flower. I burn brightly, intensely, hotly, passionately. I only grow in intensity when given air and the only thing that could slow me down was a cool touch, to ease my racing mind, my pounding veins. I run at full speed every moment I am awake. I burn. I rage. I have such a heightened intensity that most cannot bare me for long. It’s just my nature, much like you can’t qualm a forest fire with a bucket of water, you can’t slow me down with little things.
He was a waterfall, devastatingly beautiful to see, hear, to be near. I wanted to swim in his pools and shower under his streams. I could be close to him but could never touch his inner spirit, the rivers that ran inside of him hidden deep and blocked by dams. The rushing of the down draft along this waterfall of a man would fuel my flames, feed me with air that I would gulp in. Being near him was like immersing myself in a natural drug, an intake of oxygen and power. He reflected my beauty in his flow, but never perfectly. It was rippled, distorted, never quite a true reflection of my honest being.
We were fire and water, enticed by each other’s distinct nature, each other’s unique beauty. We desired, we tried, and we hoped that two powerful forces of nature could somehow twist, mold, and meld a love together that would last. It wouldn’t be a first love if it wasn’t tragic. He doused my flame; I caused him to boil and steam. We both hurt each other unintentionally by getting too close when we both knew we shouldn’t have. We were meant to love and admire, but never touch each other’s spirit. No, never touch.
Fire & Water
Better off without one another.
August 3, 2015